Chapter 17: Breaking the Wall (Two in One)

Li Zhuangsheng was stunned for a moment, and before he could react, he saw a tall and thin boy hugging Hu Mengdie with a smile, and said generously to the camera: "Hello everyone, this is my wife!"

Hu Mengdie's eyes were filled with sweetness as she boldly leaned against the boy. She looked slowly towards the camera and smiled like a flower: "I want to be with Brother Qi forever!"

After saying that, the girl seemed to have exhausted her little courage and shyly half-hided her face behind the boy, followed by high-pitched cheers from the classmates around her:

"Yo yo yo, give me a kiss! Give me a kiss!"

It was like a bucket of ice water was poured all over his body in an instant. There was a "buzzing" in Li Zhuangsheng's ear outside the video, and his whole body went numb. It seemed like he had been slapped hard again, and his face immediately burned.

His mind went blank, he felt out of breath, and wanted to vomit.

The people in the private room seemed to be quiet for an instant, and several eyes were directed at Li Zhuangsheng almost subconsciously.

Li Zhuangsheng came to his senses, full of shame and hatred.

The video at the end was cut off suddenly, and the mobile phone playing the video was half snatched into Zhang Qixiang's hand. He forcibly dragged the progress bar back without any objection.

"Hey, this section...is the same as before...there's nothing to see." Zhang Qixiang said.

"Well, I feel like it's almost done later..." he said again.

Zhang Qixiang kept dragging the progress bar. The film originally had about ten minutes, but now it was over in less than one minute.

No one at the scene had any objections, but the relaxed and joyful atmosphere just now ended abruptly, and there was only an eerie silence.

Li Zhuangsheng kept his head down the whole time and didn't say a word, thinking that others would not see his expression at this moment. Thinking that nothing happened, he didn't see anything or he didn't care if he saw anything.

Someone opened his mouth, wanting to pass the matter off with a joke. But after looking at Li Zhuangsheng's face and Zhang Qixiang, he still closed his mouth.

"Sing, sing!" Zhang Qixiang returned the phone and picked up the microphone again.

As before, Li Zhuangsheng accompanied everyone with a handbell. Others did not persuade him to sing. They just pretended that they had not seen anything just now. The atmosphere seemed to quickly return to its previous liveliness.

Li Zhuangsheng knew that they were taking care of him, but this was simply a cover-up. Li Zhuangsheng knew that they were deceiving others, and he also knew that they knew that he was also deceiving others.

It turns out that hiding one's ears and stealing the bell is not a fable, there really is such a joke in the world.

Maybe because he drank too much water before, Li Zhuangsheng wanted to go to the toilet, but he couldn't bear to go. He was worried that others would talk about him behind his back as soon as he left. He was worried that others would think that he had adjusted his mentality.

【Isn’t it over yet? 】

The screen of Li Zhuangsheng's mobile phone lit up again.

He looked at the time and realized that another hour had passed. He shook the rattle with one hand, and tapped slowly on the screen of his mobile phone with the other slightly trembling hand.

【Busy】

[Are you drinking? I’ll pick you up]

[I’m not drinking, you go to bed first, I’m very busy]

Li Zhuangsheng put his cell phone into his pocket. At this time, a song had ended and he was still shaking the handbell unconsciously.

It was already early in the morning when the party ended, and Zhang Qixiang and Li Zhuangsheng walked out of the KTV.

All the shops on the roadside have long been closed, and only a row of pale street lights guide people on their way home.

"Come with me, I'll drive you back." said Zhang Qixiang.

"No, no, if you drink, don't drive. I'll just take a taxi." Li Zhuangsheng waved his hand.

Zhang Qixiang's face was tangled and a little apologetic: "I'm so sorry about what happened today..."

Li Zhuangsheng didn't look back: "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!"

Zhang Qixiang added: "Just now Chen Zhongshi told me that he really didn't know there was this part in the video, and he didn't watch it carefully before..."

Li Zhuangsheng smiled and said, "It's okay. I'm going home first. You drive carefully."

In fact, Zhang Qixiang did not drink, and Li Zhuangsheng was not angry with Chen Zhongshi.

He just smiled stiffly and wanted to rest alone for a while.

Zhang Qixiang hesitated for a moment, looked at Li Zhuangsheng's retreating back, sighed, but still did not catch up.

"Call me if you need anything!" Zhang Qixiang shouted.

"I know." Li Zhuangsheng said softly.

The cold wind at twelve o'clock in the middle of the night was cold and cold, like a knife scraping bones, it was dry and painful when it blew on my body. The bushes on the roadside were covered with a layer of frost, and occasionally there was the faint sound of branches breaking.

The stars and moon are bright and clear, and the bright river is in the sky. It was really quiet, there was no noise of day between heaven and earth, not even the barking of wild dogs.

Li Zhuangsheng did not take a taxi home, but just walked along the roadside, stepping on a few pieces of thin ice on the ground from time to time. The small county town is so big, and the distance from his home to the city is only two or three kilometers, so it doesn't take long to walk.

He knew that Hu Mengdie had a boyfriend in her sophomore year of high school. The boyfriend was Qi Haoyu from the science class. He was tall and handsome, had excellent grades, and was good at basketball.

This is not a secret, most people in their generation know it.

Not only that, he also knew that Hu Mengdie and Qi Haoyu had been dating for a long time. On the night when their senior year was about to graduate, Zhang Qixiang and Li Zhuangsheng exclaimed jealously during a dinner date that they didn't expect Hu Mengdie to talk to Qi Haoyu for so long, and they would probably get married after graduation.

Li Zhuangsheng had not heard from Hu Mengdie since high school, and when he heard Zhang Qixiang say this, he didn't take it to heart.

Zhang Qixiang has many friends and is well-informed. He is also a WeChat friend of Qi Haoyu. Li Zhuangsheng does not doubt the authenticity of this matter. However, he and Hu Mengdie were not from the same world. Apart from expressing their envy of Qi Haoyu when bragging, they had no other thoughts.

Zhang Qixiang said this to Li Zhuangsheng just as an unintentional remark. Later, when the other party learned that Li Zhuangsheng was dating Hu Mengdie, he never mentioned the name "Qi Haoyu" again.

Li Zhuangsheng didn't really care about Hu Mengdie's love history, he just felt that he shouldn't care.

Who doesn’t want to hold hands with the person they like from the first time until they grow old together, but this is definitely unrealistic, right? What era is it now? Therefore, he never asked about Hu Mengdie's relationship history, nor why she broke up with her ex-boyfriend who had been dating for many years, and Hu Mengdie never took the initiative to mention it.

As a loser, he has imagined that if he were a super handsome guy, he would have sex with beauties every day. If this is the case, why should he ask other beauties to stay safe for him for more than twenty years, just to wait for his "favor" one day?
Reality is not those third-rate romance novels. No one is born just to wait for you.

Yes, everyone understands the truth. But just now, a hole was suddenly torn open.

Now there is always someone nagging in his ear.

"They must be laughing at you behind your back now. You are such a clown today."

"Don't be too self-conscious. Whoever has nothing to do will gossip behind other people's backs!"

"What will they think of you, Taker?"

"Why don't you think you are the ultimate winner? They want to take over."

"She smiles so happily, have you ever seen her smile like this!"

"The past is the past. Who hasn't had a few relationships? Who didn't act immature and foolish when they were young?" "They have been together for so long. Is there anything they haven't done?"

"Isn't she beautiful? Is she not treating you well now? How is she unworthy of you?"

"We've been together for so many years, can you just let it go?"

"How do you know that I can't let go? Haven't you ever had a crush on other girls in school before?"

"She's smiling so happily in someone's arms. What a pity that you're not her first love brother!"

"You're already 26, there aren't that many innocent girls who have never been in a relationship for you to choose from!"

"She was pretty in high school, wasn't she? But she's not yours. She's someone else's wife. Why the hell are you fantasizing about someone else's wife?"

"What happened can never be changed. What's important is the future. The past cannot be changed, but the future can still be pursued. Do you understand? Living a good life is better than anything else!"

The two annoying people were arguing fiercely and passionately, one was sarcastic, the other was sincere, and Li Zhuangsheng felt a buzzing pain in his head. He clenched his fists, the night wind was cold, but he felt a fire burning in his heart.

After arguing for a long time, gradually, both sides stopped being excited.

After a moment of silence, the mocking voice calmed down:
"Does she really love you?"

Li Zhuangsheng could no longer bear it and punched the lamp post:
"MLGB, are you annoying?"

The severe pain brought him back to his senses. He looked around, but there was no one.

……

Before he knew it, Li Zhuangsheng returned to the community.

The street lights in the community had long been turned off, and the long road was silent, and nothing could be seen clearly. He found a swing to sit on, which was originally a facility for children to play on, and it was a bit cramped for an adult like him to sit on.

He looked up. In the sky, the stars were glowing with a faint, cold light, and the crescent moon was silent, emitting a luster like platinum.

The first time he remembered looking at the moon was when he was a child and came out of a big bathhouse in the countryside with his father Li Minghua. Because we came out late, there was no one around, the stars were low in the sky, and the moonlight was just like this.

At that time, he had a vague concept of life and death, and developed curiosity and fear about the world after death.

He asked Li Minghua if good children go to heaven after they die?
Li Minghua said yes.

He also asked Li Minghua that if he was not a good child before but became a good child later, would he go to heaven after he died?
Li Minghua replied with a smile, that’s fine.

A few lonely wind and moon, repeatedly changed into stars and frost.

I don't know how many years have passed since then.

He subconsciously lowered his head and stroked the real platinum wedding ring on his hand, which was now dim under the dark night sky.

Let’s go home tonight, Li Zhuangsheng thought.

I stood up and saw that the surroundings were as dark as ink, and then I remembered that it was early morning.

He laughed inexplicably and thought to himself that it would be better not to disturb them. What should he say when he met his parents and Li Xiuyu?

After shaking his feet, Li Zhuangsheng turned around and went upstairs.

He quietly opened the door, quickly changed his shoes, and went into the study room at the door. Then he took out the key from the door and locked it from the inside.

Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief. It seemed that this small territory and these thousands of books could bring him a sense of security that he couldn't find anywhere else.

Li Zhuangsheng lay on the bed in the study, without any sound, as if something was flowing quietly in the dark night.

He was hypocritically depressed.

Close your eyes and the scene in the video will appear in front of you. The boy and girl are wearing green school uniforms, and the love in each other's eyes is pure and beautiful. If Li Zhuangsheng didn't know the two of them, he would probably give this video a thumbs up and silently say in his heart, "I'm so fucking envious!"
Li Zhuangsheng scratched his head hard and his breathing became rapid, as if something was pressing on his chest. However, it was not that he couldn't breathe. He just felt that the air he breathed in was stuffy and sticky.

In comparison, the embarrassment he felt in public today was the least important thing.

What really tormented him was the inner struggle after seeing how sweet the two of them were. It was as if he was the most despised yellow-haired villain who defiled the heroine in a film or TV show.

How does she feel when she is with me?

She would probably just feel bored. Everything between the two of them was nothing new to her. It was just the same daily routine she had repeated with another man in the past.

She had also kissed him passionately, called him husband sweetly, leaned on his arms and acted like a spoiled child, and watched the night view of the city and the fireworks with him...

And every sweet word she said to me, she had said to other men, and all the kindness she had shown to me was just as good as before... Oh no, it was too self-righteous to think so, she should be better to her ex-boyfriend.

After all, he had never seen such a lively, shy and bold look in her eyes.

Probably never see you again.

That look doesn't belong to her now, nor to me.

Li Zhuangsheng suddenly resented why he was not the "Brother Qi" in the video, why he was not the one who had been with her for so many years. But Qi Haoyu was tall and handsome, what qualifications did he have to replace him?

On campus, handsome guys may have girlfriends, and ugly guys may also have girlfriends, but someone as ordinary and cowardly as me definitely doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Li Zhuangsheng had never been in love before, and his beautiful fantasy about love basically came from animation and other film and television works. It seemed that love should be a boy and a girl meeting at the best age, and then growing old together in the spring breeze and autumn moon.

But no one would be stupid enough to think that the plots in anime are true, right?

He is neither sixteen nor twenty years old now...there is no such opportunity anymore.

Besides, would someone else be better than Hu Mengdie?
Hu Mengdie did almost everything a wife should do. Would changing someone else lead to better results?

He understood all the truths, but what was he really worried about? Was he worried that he had never had her youth? This didn't seem to be the biggest problem.

"Does she really love you?"

That contemptuous and pitying voice rang in my ears again.

"She gave her purest love to someone else. Her kindness to you is just an imitation of past memories. What's the point of you being unwilling to accept it?"

"She doesn't like you, at least she has never loved you as much as she loves Qi Haoyu. You are just a compromise she made with life after weighing the pros and cons. Everything she did for you was just a routine as a "wife". Like her parents, she just thinks you are a good marriage partner. If you don't get this royal salary in time, she may not be willing to marry you."

"How can anyone forget their first love? Even if it ends up with scars and a mess, it was so beautiful at the beginning. When you hold hands, she will remember the size of his palms when you first held hands. When you hug, she will remember the warmth in his arms when you first hugged. When you kiss, she will remember the blushing cheeks and the throbbing hearts when you first kissed him."

He whispered slowly in Li Zhuangsheng's ear. No one was debating with him anymore, so every word he said was like the final judgment in the court, leaving no room for further comment.

In the dark night, Li Zhuangsheng grinned miserably.

"It's over. I can't live like this anymore..."

　This is two chapters, there is one more chapter

　　
　
(End of this chapter)