Chapter 256 Big Dream
On the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, the two of them lay on the bed like a newlywed couple. Zhu Zhixue, wearing a close-fitting beige sweater, rested her head on Li Zhuangsheng's shoulder, showing off her slender and plump figure.

"Look at this pair of gloves, you gave them to me." Zhu Zhixue took out the worn-out gloves from the box, put them on her hands, and said with a smile, "When you gave them to me, my fingers were too thick to wear them at all... Now they fit perfectly!"

"I wore this when I was in elementary school. It was too small to begin with. Also, your hands must have been swollen from the cold back then."

"Hehe, that makes sense." Zhu Zhixue looked at the gloves and smiled foolishly.

"Are you free tomorrow? I'll go out and buy you new gloves. You don't need these old ones anymore," said Li Zhuangsheng.

Zhu Zhixue shook her head repeatedly: "No, no, this is our token of love! Even if I buy a new one, I can't throw this away!"

Li Zhuangsheng lowered his eyes and said, "Okay, keep the old ones. Anyway, I'll buy you a new pair of gloves and a new down jacket tomorrow."

Zhu Zhixue seemed to have only one down jacket that could be worn, and it was torn last night. According to her, the other down jackets were too small and could not be worn at all.

I was wearing a cotton jacket when I was cooking this morning.

"Don't waste money, I have clothes to wear!"

Although Zhu Zhixue said this, her eyes were full of smiles.

"It's okay. I'm a writer and I get paid for my writing." Li Zhuangsheng said with his eyes lowered.

In fact, he didn't have much money left, only about 2,000 yuan including the New Year's money. He used all the money from his royalties over the past few months and the money he had asked Li Minghua for to go to the hospital for the treatment of Lin Yuehua's grandmother.

Fortunately, he had bought insurance in advance, and the tens of thousands of dollars were barely enough. And now was not the day for publishing the manuscript fee, so he had to wait for ten days.

But more than 2,000 yuan is enough for now.

"How much do you get for writing an article?" Zhu Zhixue was a little curious.

"For magazines, I'd pay about 2,000 to 3,000 yuan, but I'm writing articles for websites now, so the payment will be a bit higher."

"You're so awesome! Where can I see your novel?"

"I won't tell you. It would be too embarrassing for acquaintances to see it."

"Hey - just say it." Zhu Zhixue kissed Li Zhuangsheng on the mouth and acted coquettishly.

"If I have the chance in the future, I will write a novel that I can proudly introduce to people around me," said Li Zhuangsheng.

Not sure if it was intentional or not, but Zhu Zhixue rubbed him so hard that he felt really uncomfortable. His mood was already bad, and his physical reaction also made him quite embarrassed.

Since Li Zhuangsheng insisted, Zhu Zhixue didn't force it even though she was curious. She lay quietly in his arms for a long time like a cat, then raised her head and said, "Are you bored now?"

"It's never boring when I'm with you," said Li Zhuangsheng.

He was indeed a bit bored. Without a TV, a computer, or even a smartphone, he really didn't know what to do.

"Hey, me too!" Zhu Zhixue turned over and lay on top of Li Zhuangsheng with a smile, saying seriously, "I want to kiss you."

"Then kiss..." Zhu Zhixue held Li Zhuangsheng's head and kissed him, clumsy but gradually becoming proficient. The two of them rubbed against each other for more than half an hour, and Zhu Zhixue's tongue became numb before they reluctantly separated. Li Zhuangsheng always tried his best to restrain his impulse and barely did not lose himself in the land of tenderness.

He felt guilty towards Zhu Zhixue. He felt guilty for disliking her in the first year of junior high school, guilty for not recognizing her when they met again, guilty for not coming out to save her at the critical moment, guilty for just silently distancing himself from her afterwards and not really caring about her... Their relationship was obviously good before, but when he saw that she had "gone astray", he rarely advised her seriously.

If he could have sincerely comforted her at that time, things would not have turned out the way they did later.

Why wasn't there one at that time?

The most fundamental reason was his low self-esteem. He felt that he was not on the same level as Zhu Zhixue, and that he was not related to her, so he had no right to advise her. At that time, he already knew that he had low emotional intelligence, so he would not be so "inconsiderate".

Of course, there is also the fear of campus thugs... and resentment towards their "betrayal".

Inferiority complex...cowardice...Li Zhuangsheng watched her degenerate step by step and just let it go.

He suddenly thought of Zhu Zhixue’s last message: “Take care, goodbye.” and the picture of the bright moon that accompanied it.

Am I her white moonlight? Can a person like me be someone else's white moonlight?

After graduating from high school, Li Zhuangsheng thought of Zhu Zhixue several times, so he clicked into her QQ, but the other party's comments were always frozen on that white moonlight and the only reply below, a capital "L".

When the bright moon was there, it illuminated the colorful clouds.

He felt guilty towards Zhu Zhixue. He felt guilty that he missed the chance to save her ten years later. He felt guilty that he did not attend the class reunion. He felt guilty that he did not listen to her carefully on the last night. He felt guilty that he did not care about her abnormality... He clearly felt it at that time. She was like an old friend whom he had long lost.

Actually, it has nothing to do with him. He didn't do anything wrong...but she likes him!
Because she liked him, and he failed this pure and sincere love. She reached out to him again and again, but he ignored her cries for help again and again.

She liked him so much, if he made just a little effort, he could save her!
Li Zhuangsheng kept thinking about the story that Zhu Zhixue told him in the future, and the three possible endings. One was a prophecy, one was a fantasy, and the other was... the reality that should have existed.

[She went to a class reunion, and her former classmates were all laughing at her. Then the boy stood up and said that this bad girl was not so bad after all, and asked everyone to stop saying bad things about her. Then...the two of them remained good friends. The girl opened a barbecue restaurant, singing live while running the store, and the business was booming! ]

She knew that she had already been notorious in her hometown, but she still attended the class reunion. She knew the consequences of attending the class reunion, but she longed for him to save her, which was her last straw.

Sadly, she didn't catch it.

Li Zhuangsheng didn't know how sad Zhu Zhixue felt that New Year as she huddled in the car, looking out the window at the lively lights at her mother's home which had locked her out.

His guilt towards Zhu Zhixue is different from that towards Lin Yuehua. Lin Yuehua is a regret that he cannot bear to look back on for the past ten years, while Zhu Zhixue is a volcano that has been dormant for ten years and suddenly erupted.

Did he like Zhu Zhixue? He couldn't really tell, and he didn't dare to say.

But the raging flood had washed away everything and he had no choice.

After watching Icarus in Heaven's Lost Object, Zhu Zhixue's face filled my mind. Zhu Zhixue was his bright moon, lighting up his former sexual fantasies in youth.

He looked out the window countless times, imagining when his Ikaros would fall from the sky, but he didn't know that his Ikaros had already arrived beside him.

He still realized it too late, and all the past became regrets.

(End of this chapter)