Chapter 318 Balance (5/7)

"She's not that mean!"

"If she really wasn't that stingy, why would you ask me? Just go ask Hu Mengdie herself!"

"Come on, tell me, what's so strange about Hu Mengdie?"

"She has been asking me about you a lot lately, especially this week, the frequency has increased a lot."

Li Xiuyu thought that Hu Mengdie must have asked her about Li Zhuangsheng because she had expressed her love for him during her amnesia, which made her curious about him now. Therefore, she wanted to tell Hu Mengdie the truth, but how should she tell her the truth? If she told her that it was all fake, would she believe it?

It's so annoying. I hope you don't end up having feelings for Li Zhuangsheng!
Li Xiuyu's understanding of Li Zhuangsheng is quite accurate. He is indeed likely to attract the attention of some special girls.

God knows how many people she has helped drive away!

"Specifically...oh, forget it." Li Zhuangsheng sighed again before he finished speaking.

"Why don't you ask?"

"There's nothing more to ask."

He now has quite complicated feelings towards Hu Mengdie.

Hu Mengdie was his first love, his first woman, and the first person he wanted to hold hands with and grow old with. He had imagined more than once that the two of them would hold hands from youth to old age.

But when you like someone, everything she does is right and makes people happy. When you hate someone, everything she does is wrong, even if she is helpful, you can find fault with her.

Just like Duke Ling of Wei and Mi Zixia.

It is said that Mi Zixia was very handsome when he was young, and the king of Wei, Duke Ling of Wei, loved him very much. Once Mi Zixia heard that his mother was seriously ill, so he secretly used Duke Ling of Wei's carriage to go home to visit his mother. When Duke Ling of Wei found out, he not only did not blame him, but praised him for his filial piety.

Another time, Mi Zixia picked a fresh peach, took a bite and found it delicious, so he gave the rest to Duke Ling of Wei. Duke Ling of Wei was not angry, but said to the people around him, "Please share anything delicious with me when you come across it. This shows how much you love me."

But later, as Mi Zixia grew older and his looks faded, Duke Ling of Wei disliked him more and more. He told his attendants that Mi Zixia was always very willful and rude. He had stolen my car before and even gave me the leftover peaches!
Of course, Li Zhuangsheng's love for Hu Mengdie was not fading. In fact, she was still very beautiful. She was even more youthful and beautiful than she would be in the future.

A girl of sixteen or seventeen is always more valuable than a woman of twenty-six or twenty-seven. A girl can grow into a woman, but no one can have a second youth.

He had a different kind of dissatisfaction with Hu Mengdie, which accumulated bit by bit. The longer he spent with Zhu Zhixue and the better Zhu Zhixue treated him, the deeper his dissatisfaction became.

He knew that it was wrong to do so, extremely wrong, and he understood all the principles, but he just couldn't help comparing the two.

Why can Zhu Zhixue do this, but Hu Mengdie can't? Why can Zhu Zhixue love me so much, but Hu Mengdie can't love me that much? Even more, why am I everything to Zhu Zhixue, but not everything to Hu Mengdie?

No one doesn't compare, just like Li Zhuangsheng will naturally compare Hu Mengdie and Zhu Zhixue now. He believes that Hu Mengdie will do the same, and even projects Zhu Zhixue's kindness to him onto Hu Mengdie and her ex-boyfriend in high school. In fact, his hypocritical "gentleman" nature makes him never think about this matter deliberately, but the scale of comparison is always adding weight to one side.

To the extent that almost every past experience between him and Hu Mengdie makes him feel dissatisfied when he recalls it now, even those relatively sweet memories.

Just like the trip to the cherry blossoms at Jiming Temple that I recalled today, it was actually a pretty sweet trip.

Li Zhuangsheng had no dissatisfaction on the way to Jiming Temple. His anticipation of going under the romantic cherry trees with Hu Mengdie far outweighed the "cherry dispute". At that time, he did not think that Hu Mengdie did not care about his performance, or that she would not even think of this level.

They had a lot of fun that day, took some nice photos, posed in the shape of a heart together, and posted them to each other's Moments.

Before this, no matter how many times I recalled it, even after I was reborn, I was mostly happy when I thought about it.

But Li Zhuangsheng, now, is dissatisfied, because human beings are creatures that are never satisfied, and his desires are insatiable.

Before he met Zhu Zhixue, he thought there was nothing wrong with this, but after meeting Zhu Zhixue, he felt that this was not the way a girl loved someone, and it was not just to this extent.

He subconsciously believed that if he had complained about the "cherry dispute" to Zhu Zhixue back then, the other party would definitely hold his hand and say, "Let's go see the peach blossoms together next year when the peach blossoms bloom", and would remember it more carefully than he did. When the peach blossoms are in full bloom, she would prepare food, take him out for an outing to enjoy the flowers, listen to his poems praising the peach blossoms, and listen to him tell the romantic stories behind the poems.

Zhu Zhixue will definitely do this.

Instead of being like Hu Mengdie, who just agreed mindlessly and then forgot about it, as if it were just ordinary gossip.

In fact, being willing to agree with Hu Mengdie on a topic that you are not interested in is already very good. At least at that time, Li Zhuangsheng felt that he was affirmed and understood by Hu Mengdie, and he was very happy. This is the so-called emotional value.

But after the comparison, there is imbalance. When the balance is completely tilted and this imbalance arises, no matter what Hu Mengdie does, Li Zhuangsheng will feel that it is wrong and not as good as Zhu Zhixue.

Fortunately, nowadays, love is not a necessity in reality, and women are not a necessity for men.

In fact, Li Zhuangsheng did not have much resentment towards Hu Mengdie, nor did he blame her. What he hated most was his own self who was "obsessed with lust and self-deprecating".

These eight words are how he defines himself at this moment.

Li Zhuangsheng has an advantage. He can reflect and think for himself, then distinguish right from wrong and know what he should do.

The disadvantage is that reflection is often done after the fact, and even if he knows what to do, he still can't do it. He mostly reads history books with some sociology books, and rarely reads philosophy books that can improve his thinking ability because they are obscure and boring, although he has bought some.

This often made him more painful the more he thought about it.

(End of this chapter)