Chapter 344 Joke (Two in One)

Li Zhuangsheng and Li Xiuyu had a natural understanding of each other. They could often understand each other with just a glance, and sometimes they didn't even need to look at each other.

Just like when he pretended to be sick to deceive the director a few days ago, Li Zhuangsheng said that Li Xiuyu was sick, and Li Xiuyu immediately and naturally acted like he was sick. Although his acting skills were average, there were no other flaws.

Before their rebirth, one day when the two of them went out to eat together it happened to be the Chinese Valentine's Day. Some restaurants posted notices offering discounts to couples on the Chinese Valentine's Day. Li Xiuyu very naturally took Li Zhuangsheng's arm and walked into the restaurant, and Li Zhuangsheng also very naturally pretended to be a couple.

There is no need for prior communication, everything happens naturally, just like the real thing.

Even if one day one of them suddenly said in public that both brothers and sisters had seen aliens, the other one would immediately respond, "Yes, I can testify to that" and continue to make up this lie.

Similarly, Li Zhuangsheng could tell whether Li Xiuyu's menstrual period was normal by the way she walked, and Li Xiuyu could tell whether Li Zhuangsheng was about to wake up by his breathing while he was sleeping.

The two people's understanding of each other is very convenient in life. Especially when playing cards, the two often appear in the form of a team. Living in the "hometown of throwing eggs", even children can play "throwing eggs" during festivals.

Li Zhuangsheng and Li Xiuyu, relying on their "brother and sister" status, always confidently appeared as "opponents". At this time, they only needed to look at each other to know whether to play single, double, straight, company, steel plate, three with two, three without... With a smile, they could roughly judge whether the other party had a joker, bomb, flush, double bomb, and the approximate number and size.

So every Chinese New Year, they could transfer the lucky money of their relatives' children into their pockets, which would make them scream or become dumbfounded, thus successfully killing their gambling addiction in the cradle. Unfortunately, this soon aroused public anger, and within a few years, no children were willing to play cards with them, unless they were not the opponent.

Later, when they were in high school, they played at the same table with adults during the New Year. At the beginning, they would lose a lot, but after improving their card skills with the adults, they rarely lost.

People often question whether they cheated, but they really didn't. They rarely colluded beforehand when they were going to do something, relying mainly on their years of understanding of the scene. When it comes to playing cards, they never agreed on gestures, eye contact, small movements, etc. If they really agreed on that, it would be easy to confuse them.

Due to such a high level of tacit understanding, before rebirth, Li Zhuangsheng and Li Xiuyu had discussed whether to learn Mahjong. In this way, even if no one reads Li Zhuangsheng's novels in the future, Li Xiuyu loses his job and can't find a rich woman, he can still win the pensions of those old men and women to support himself, at least he doesn't have to worry about starving to death in the future.

But later on, the two of them never learned mahjong. The main reason was that during the Chinese New Year that year, Li Zhuangsheng went on a blind date with a woman named Hu Mengdie.

Yao Xingyu lost and was broken: "Then how did you know that her last six cards must be three with two and the last one is a joker? You defuse the four five bombs and let her have a straight hand!"

"I actually know how to remember cards, and I have a small hand at home. Four fives are also small bombs, not crown cards. I can't get away with it if it's bombed. It's better to play three with two."

"I'm asking you, why didn't you hesitate at all, as if you saw her cards! And in the last hand, how did Li Xiuyu know that you had a sister pair left in the last six cards, and he also directly opened it and played it!"

Li Xiuyu explained calmly: "Yi Yunshui is my next player. I see she still has a lot of cards in her hand. She should be reluctant to blow up my sister's pair."

Yao Xingyu's mouth twitched slightly: "I'm asking why you didn't hesitate at all... How can you play cards like this, as if you know the pattern of the cards!"

"…Guess?"

Li Zhuangsheng and Li Xiuyu looked at each other and shrugged.

Yi Yunshui was amazed: "Could it be that brothers and sisters really have telepathy? Oh, brother, I am so jealous of you!"

Please don't say such horrible things in a joking tone, I feel like you are really going to stab me!

"I don't want to play anymore. There's no way I can win this!" Yao Xingyu sighed, "You two brothers and sisters are such scoundrels!"

"Then dinner..."

"Yi Yunshui and I will treat you, okay?"

Li Zhuangsheng smiled widely and hugged Zhu Zhixue: "Great, we won. We can have a free dinner tonight!"

Zhu Zhixue forced a smile on her face and nodded slightly: "Yeah."

"Why do you look unhappy?" Li Zhuangsheng blinked with concern, "We won the card game!"

"Yeah!" Zhu Zhixue nodded again.

"Do you think I'm controlling you too much? I made you feel like you don't participate... I promise I won't say anything next time and let you play your own cards!"

Zhu Zhixue shook her head: "It's okay, it's okay. I just feel a little uncomfortable in my stomach..."

Li Zhuangsheng was stunned and thought, I don’t think you are from these two days?
"Do you want to go to the bathroom? I know there is a public restroom nearby." Li Zhuangsheng said softly.

"That's not necessary..." Zhu Zhixue sniffed, feeling more and more aggrieved for some reason, so aggrieved that she couldn't even finish her words, her eyes were red, and her nose was full of water, "Just... rub it for me."

"Does it hurt so much?" Li Zhuangsheng was horrified. "Let's go to the hospital now!"

"No, no need... just rub it." Zhu Zhixue's voice was almost crying.

Li Zhuangsheng thought awkwardly for a moment, but still reached his hand into Zhu Zhixue's clothes and gently massaged her belly.

"Are you really okay? If it hurts a lot, let's go to the hospital!" Yao Xingyu looked worried.

Zhu Zhixue shook her head and lay in Li Zhuangsheng's arms.

Li Xiuyu pursed his lips and glanced at the two of them coldly. Without saying a word, he just lowered his head and silently put the cards away.

After rubbing for about ten minutes, Zhu Zhixue's complexion became a little better and she finally regained her composure.

"Are you feeling better?" Li Zhuangsheng asked gently.

"Much better." Zhu Zhixue nodded. Although she still felt aggrieved, she was finally not so aggrieved anymore.

I really can't describe the feeling I just had. I was clearly in extreme pain, but my body reacted on its own. It was just like the intimate scene of Li Zhuangsheng and Hu Mengdie that I imagined in my mind before, and then I felt humiliated and excited.

But this time the sadness was more intense than ever before, as if she was dying. Only Li Zhuangsheng's hand could give her some comfort in her heart and divert her pain.

Zhu Zhixue was very thankful that Li Zhuangsheng was a gentleman, and she kept her hand on her belly properly. If he moved his hand a little lower, she would be too ashamed to face anyone. She would go home, change into clean underwear, and then find a rope to hang herself.

However, physically, she was increasingly craving for Li Zhuangsheng's hand, wishing she could grab his hand and squeeze it hard. This strong, complex and contradictory feeling had been tormenting her, and it also inadvertently diverted her previous grievance and powerlessness.

"Wow, your boyfriend's massage is so effective? Ugh, you two are so corny!" Yao Xingyu teased.

Zhu Zhixue blushed, but she still enjoyed the peace of mind and happiness that Li Zhuangsheng brought her at the moment. She twisted her legs, fortunately the other three did not stare at her.

Li Zhuangsheng did not stop there and continued to gently massage Zhu Zhixue's lower abdomen, just as he had massaged Li Xiuyu when she suffered from menstrual cramps.

……

The group strolled around other parts of the park in the afternoon, and only went down the mountain together when the sun set.

"Are you okay now?" Li Zhuangsheng held Zhu Zhixue's hand and asked her gently, "Does your stomach still hurt?"

"I'm fine." Zhu Zhixue said with his head down.

"I noticed that your walking posture is a little strange. Are you really okay?" Li Zhuangsheng asked.

"It's really okay, you don't need to ask anymore!" Zhu Zhixue shook his head vigorously.

The reason why she walked in a strange way was that she had thrown away her underwear when she went to the toilet. Now there was no space inside her pants, so she felt a little uncomfortable. What a pity, the underwear was only bought a year ago, and the price was not cheap, and it was thrown away like that... But if she hadn't thrown it away, she really couldn't wear it next to her body in that state.

"The peach blossoms are so beautiful, and the sunset is so beautiful!"

Everyone returned along the original route. When they were about to reach the foot of the mountain, Zhu Zhixue trotted to a peach tree on the side of the road and greeted Li Zhuangsheng with a smile.

"Yes, the camera is out of battery. Let me take another picture of you with my phone!" Li Zhuangsheng took out his phone with a smile.

"Now it's time for a quick quiz!" Zhu Zhixue coughed, "The peach tree is young and lush, and its flowers are bright and beautiful. What's the next sentence?"

Li Zhuangsheng smiled and said, "The son is getting married, and he is suitable for his family."

"Oh my—" Yao Xingyu and Yi Yunshui cheered at the same time.

Zhu Zhixue smiled happily, her cheeks were charming, maybe because of the sunset or because of her blushing. She quickly glanced at Li Xiuyu and said, "Let's take a photo to commemorate this!"

She took out her cell phone to take a selfie, but even a thousand-dollar phone at that time couldn't take a good picture.

"Use mine!"

Yao Xingyu handed over his gold iPhone 5s.

Zhu Zhixue kissed Li Zhuangsheng's face under the peach tree and finally took a satisfactory photo. Yao Xingyu sent the photo to Zhu Zhixue, who then sent it to Li Zhuangsheng.

Li Zhuangsheng looked at the blurry picture and suddenly couldn't help laughing:
"It's so retro, it really has a sense of age."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, this camera, the picture quality is not very good. It's like an old photo."

“Apple’s isn’t good?”

"It's not that it's bad, it's just... I've only seen this type of photo on the Internet before."

He usually saw other people posting such past photos online to commemorate the pure love that has passed away or continued from the past. He was very envious when he saw it.

"Well, what do you mean?" Zhu Zhixue didn't understand.

"Nothing, let's go, don't let others wait for us too long, and remember to order something expensive for dinner later, don't be polite!"

……

"I told you to be rude, and you really were rude!"

In the hot pot restaurant, looking at the table full of meat and two large plates of tripe, Yao Xingyu's mouth twitched slightly.

"Everyone has a responsibility to fight against the local tyrants and divide the land." Li Zhuangsheng smiled and patted Zhu Zhixue on the shoulder, and whispered, "I'm going to the bathroom."

"So much, how much will it cost later..."

Yi Yunshui couldn't help but grumble. After all, she and Yao Xingyu lost the card game together, so the meal fee had to be shared equally by her and Yao Xingyu. But she was just an ordinary high school student, and it really hurt to pay so much.

Li Xiuyu didn't even raise his eyelids: "It's okay, you don't have to pay, we just need to eat, we can order more if it's not enough... Well, eat first, don't wait for him!"

"Huh?" Yi Yunshui didn't understand. Why didn't she have to pay? Didn't they agree that the loser would pay? Could it be that she and Yao Xingyu had made a mistake, and the winner was actually paying?
Zhu Zhixue didn't say anything. She first blanched a few pieces of tripe and then put them into Li Zhuangsheng's bowl.

"He doesn't like eating tripe." Li Xiuyu said lightly.

"Hey, is this true?" Zhu Zhixue was stunned.

"Of course it's true. He wants to vomit when he smells the tripe. If you put it in his bowl like this, he won't be able to eat his meal in a while."

"Then I should..."

Li Xiuyu had a blank expression on his face: "Oh, it's okay, as long as you give me the tripe in his bowl..."

"Give you a head!"

Li Zhuangsheng appeared in time and hit Li Xiuyu on the head with yogurt.

"What are you doing?" Li Xiuyu took the yogurt with dissatisfaction.

"You just keep fooling around when you're not around!" Li Zhuangsheng put down the big bottle of Orange Juice and Wong Lo Kat.

Zhu Zhixue tilted her head: "Don't you like tripe?"

Li Zhuangsheng glared at Li Xiuyu unhappily and said, "How is that possible? It's just that someone really likes to eat it and wants to cheat you out of the tripe."

Seeing that his deception failed, Li Xiu Yu snorted softly and lowered his head to open the yogurt.

"Don't listen to her in everything from now on. She is a big liar and will cheat people without blinking an eye." Li Zhuangsheng shook the Orange Juice, then opened it and poured it for Zhu Zhixue.

"Do you like to eat tripe? Let me boil it for you!"

Yi Yunshui immediately picked up a piece of tripe and put it into the hot pot.

“Remember to put it in the red soup. I love spicy food!” Li Zhuangsheng cheered.

Upon hearing this, Yi Yunshui put the tripe into the red soup again and boiled it.

"I don't like spicy food." Li Xiu Yu said quietly.

"Oh, yeah!" Yi Yunshui reacted and slapped his forehead, "I've never seen you eat spicy food before!"

Yao Xingyu complained speechlessly: "You two brothers and sisters really love and hate each other!"

Zhu Zhixue's ears twitched.

"It's not that she doesn't like spicy food, but she's not good at it!" Li Zhuangsheng immediately exposed Li Xiuyu's true colors, "In fact, she will blush when she eats something spicy, even when she eats cold noodles in the summer!"

Li Xiuyu squinted at Li Zhuangsheng: "Do you know what vegetable Li Zhuangsheng dislikes the most? The answer is green vegetables. Because when he was a child, he ate very fast and often got his throat choked when eating green vegetables. Then he would reach out and grab them in a hurry. One time I saved him, guess what he said?"

Yi Yunshui asked with a smile: "What did you say?"

"I was about to swallow it, who told you to pull it out?" Li Xiuyu said expressionlessly, "I know you may not understand what he meant. He was blaming me for taking the vegetable out, which resulted in a waste of it. If he was born in the Tang Dynasty, he would have written "Mercy of the Peasants".

(End of this chapter)