Chapter 90: How much hesitation
Zhang Yunfeng has not had an easy time these days.

As a farmer, he is not a sentimental person.

The pressure of life and the endless farm work did not leave him any time to be sentimental. However, every time when it was late at night and he lay in bed, Zhang Guorui's cold words would always echo in his mind. Coupled with his mother's nagging and the fact that his fellow villagers had repeatedly introduced him to potential partners with good intentions, he felt extremely distressed.

Sometimes he would think, just forget it, listen to the judgment of life, find a peasant woman like himself to marry, you Zhang Yunfeng are not young anymore! You are no longer crazy about love, you are just a mud-legged man digging in the soil, and Xiaonan is a teacher sent by the city's No. 1 Middle School, and her father, Zhang Guorui, who has a powerful hand in Yunxi Village, is watching covetously. You and Xiaonan are in heaven and earth, and there is no possibility at all, so what else is there to hope for?

However, when he thought of what his younger brother Yunqi said to him years ago, Zhang Yunfeng would brush away these messy and decadent thoughts in his mind and once again strengthen his heart that was unwilling to succumb to the whims of fate.

Yes, Zhang Yunqi's words a few years ago opened another brand new window for Zhang Yunfeng's pessimistic and gloomy life, triggering a great awakening of the self-reliance consciousness of a rural youth. He suddenly woke up and realized that the world outside was so broad and there were so many ways, so why did he have to stick to the path of being a farmer? Why couldn't he fight for a brighter future for Xiaonan's passion?

In fact, he also understood that from the people's commune system of "one big and two public" and "integration of politics and society" before the reform, to the current household contract responsibility system, the country's policies are getting better and better, and life is getting better and better. To be a law-abiding farmer, now is a good time to start a family and build a career in this society.

Over the past few years, he has personally felt the tremendous changes that national policies have brought to farmers' lives. More and more families no longer have to worry about food and clothing, and having meat for every meal is no longer a luxury. Ordinary farmers, as long as they work hard, can live a good life even if they just dig on the land. What's more, he now has a tractor. He doesn't have to worry about his bright future, but his life is promising!

Getting rich has always been the theme of life for millions of ordinary Chinese farmers.

As long as you have food to eat, clothes to wear, money to spend and good health, what else can you ask for in this life?

But who made me fall in love with Zhang Guorui's daughter Zhang Xiaonan?
During these days, when he was working and resting alone in the mountains, he would lie on his back on the ground with his head resting on his arms, looking at the high blue sky and the floating white clouds for a long time. His eyes would inexplicably fill with tears. The mountains were so quiet that he could even hear the blood vessels beating at his temples.

At such times, the sails of his memory would repeatedly sail into the past.

He thought of every little detail about him and Xiaonan, the happy days when they went to school together, and the words Xiaonan said on his shoulder the night she left Yunxi Village: "Brother Yunfeng, no matter whether my dad agrees or not, I just want to be with you for the rest of my life!"

As he thought about it, Zhang Yunfeng's heart broke.

But after the broken hearts were glued together again, they seemed to be more resilient, and they were more determined to go to the city to work hard!
He no longer wanted to be a law-abiding farmer.

He knew that if he wanted to change his situation and be with Xiaonan, going to the city to work hard was the best way out and the right time to start a family and build a career!
After making up his mind to go out and explore the world, Zhang Yunfeng no longer drove a tractor to transport goods, but spent the whole day farming in the fields in the mountains.

After I went to the city to make a living, all the farm work had to fall on my mother alone. She was still young and couldn't do much. Chunlan was a good farmer, but now she was in the third grade of junior high school in Longwan Town. She would take the high school entrance exam in two months. She was facing a critical period of transition from junior high school to high school, and she couldn't let farm work delay her sister's studies.

However, my mother is in poor health and cannot endure the hardship.

He thought that he would do as much farm work as possible before leaving, so that his mother could do less. Spring ploughing had already begun, and Zhang Yunfeng loosened the soil near his home and planted cowpeas and peanuts. As for the several acres of tobacco fields, he did not plant tobacco seedlings after plowing them, and kept delaying there. The pigs at home had been killed during the Chinese New Year, and Zhang's mother urged him several times, but he made excuses to delay and did not go to the town to buy piglets.

After taking care of the affairs at home, Zhang Yunfeng decided to talk to his mother about going out to the city to make a living.

After dinner that day, Mother Zhang sat under the TV and sewed shoe soles. Although the family no longer lacked money to buy clothes and shoes, she still liked to knit sweaters and shoes for her children, because the ones she made were warm and durable, and she had deep skills. Every line was well-arranged, and from a distance they looked like patterns carefully designed by arts and crafts artists.

Zhang Yunfeng rolled a dry tobacco stick and smoked it silently before turning down the volume of the TV. He mustered up the courage to say to Zhang's mother, "Mom, I have something to tell you."

Aunt Zhang lowered her head and said calmly, "Is it about going to the city?"

Zhang Yunfeng was a little surprised. After a while, he asked hesitantly, "How did you know that?"

Aunt Zhang sighed, put the wool basket on the table and said, "Chunlan told me that she heard you and Yunqi discussing going to the city before the New Year, and she secretly told me about it. And I can also feel recently that you have become wild and grown up, and you are not happy working on the farm at home, but I won't stop you. You are not a child anymore, so you can do whatever you want."

Zhang Yunfeng felt guilty, and after a long while he said, "Mom, don't worry, Yunqi has already bought a big house in the city. Once I'm settled there and have some connections, I'll bring you and your sisters to live in the city!"

Aunt Zhang was surprised and asked, "Yunqi bought a house in the city? Where did he get so much money?"

At this point, she suddenly remembered that Yunqi was selling handheld game consoles while studying. Now Qiulan was also following Yunqi in doing the same thing. She had more or less gotten some information about the situation. She wasn't sure how much money he made, but it was definitely not a small amount. He had spent nearly ten thousand yuan just on household appliances and New Year's goods during the Chinese New Year. However, she never dreamed that her seventeen-year-old son could actually buy a house in the city.

For a moment, she felt both relieved and sad.

What makes me happy is that my children are ambitious and sensible.

The sad thing is that my children have grown up, have their own ideas, and have to go out and work hard on their own. As a mother, I can't help them at all except silently wishing them well in my heart.

Zhang Ma couldn't help but feel a little sad, and said: "Your brother is young, but you can see that he is smart and has more ideas. When you go there, you should listen to his opinions more and work steadily. Don't worry about the family, I'm here. But... you are going out to work hard, and I don't know when you can get married. You are almost 24, and your brothers and sisters are sensible and well-behaved. Mom doesn't have much to worry about now, but I hope every day that you can get married and start a family as soon as possible."

Under the dim light, Zhang Yunfeng silently looked at his mother's wrinkled face. For a moment, his throat was blocked and he couldn't speak. His heart was filled with speechless emotion and shame as the eldest son.

(End of this chapter)