Chapter 229 I am also guilty
"I have reflected a lot these past two days. From the beginning of our relationship until now, I have indeed been drawn into a vicious circle that I cannot get out of. I am thinking... if Chen Zai hadn't discovered it, the consequences would have been disastrous."

Jiang Ning bit her lips hard, the pain made her more awake.

She still raised her smooth neck, her cheeks flushed red with shame and anger, and even her ears were covered with a layer of pink.

From childhood to adulthood, Jiang Ning seldom did anything wrong. She felt uncomfortable not simply because she was scolded by Chen Yuan, but because she gave up her pride and was willing to admit her mistakes.

This matter itself is a huge challenge, it is a torture she inflicts on herself.

"Even if I hide it well, I will definitely regret it in the end. After I win by recording my diary, will everything be over? Can I really keep this secret forever? Maybe every time I think about it, I will feel like a whip is lashing me."

"Fundamentally, this is wrong. Just as Chen Zai said, this is not a serious relationship. It is filled with possessiveness, comparison, and the desire to achieve one's goals by any means necessary, which completely taints the original purity of love."

"I was wrong. I deeply realized that I was wrong..."

She lowered her head and spoke very softly and slowly, but people couldn't help but listen carefully.

Jiang Yao was watching intently from the side. It was the first time that the younger sister saw her elder sister admit her mistake so humbly. It turned out that even someone as proud as her could sometimes willingly bow her head.

But she didn't know that this didn't mean Ningning had abandoned her principles. On the contrary, this quality was even more valuable.

Wrong is wrong, right is right. Does being excellent mean that you will never make mistakes? Only those who dare to face their own flaws and not care about temporary honor or disgrace are rational and objective!
"Yesterday, you scolded me very well, and you were right. You made me sober up. I suddenly found that I was no longer myself. I took this relationship too seriously and magnified the emotions in the process countless times. When something is taken too seriously, people will lose their original sense of proportion, take risks, forget themselves, and become unrecognizable to themselves."

"The momentary lust made me lose my mind, which is not the key to the problem. The key is... I betrayed myself."

"I have my own pursuits. I should have longed for pure love like you, just like what I discussed with you every time we talked online at night. People who pursue this kind of love can always proudly declare how persistent they are and not be swayed by this materialistic age, but I didn't do that."

"If I could do it, I wouldn't have agreed after just a little hesitation when Yaoyao suggested giving it a try. Although my main motivation was my affection for you, I should be honest."

"If I could do it, I wouldn't be so obsessed with getting rid of this trouble as soon as possible after meeting in real life, for fear of affecting my original life. I have a clear plan for my future and a strong desire for control, so I am afraid of things that are beyond my control. Chen Zai, you are an exception. Because I wanted to get rid of it, I broke up with you. This is the first time I didn't face my own heart."

"After we broke up, Yaoyao said it was her fault because she took the initiative to find you to reconcile, which led to a series of things. I don't think so. The most outrageous one is me... To be honest, I hate seeing you get along well with other girls in school. I can't imagine you quickly starting a relationship with another girl. I can't accept it. The person I like who is so high-minded is easily taken by others."

Jiang Ning's eyes were already red as she spoke.

These are all her true words. It is very difficult for people to face their own shortcomings. She must be very angry with herself at this moment.

I hated myself for making so many mistakes. It was not until the truth was revealed that I came to my senses and reflected on it from beginning to end.

Chen Yuan had never seen Jiang Ning like this.

He was very silent, probably with mixed feelings inside.

"Later, I completely fell into the vicious circle of possessiveness. Chen Yuan, I really like you, but I should have liked you openly and honestly. I should have laid everything out before we started dating. I apologize for my inconsistency... I apologize for not taking this relationship seriously."

"Sorry……"

"Besides saying sorry to you, I also want to apologize to Yaoyao."

Jiang Yao: "???"

"I didn't fulfill my responsibilities as a sister. I should have set a good example for her and not been so indulgent. Not only did I let her do whatever she wanted, I also fanned the flames. She told me about her online romance, but I didn't think it was a big deal at first. I knew she was secretly dating you without telling me, and I was only angry because she cheated on me and possessed you, but wasn't I doing the same thing?"

"I am also deceiving you and trying to possess you."

"So, when it comes to love, I'm no better than my sister."

"As a girlfriend, I also lacked the sense of responsibility that I should have. I didn't consider your feelings and treated you like an object, snatching you from my sister and dividing you up wantonly. Thinking about it now, it's really absurd and ridiculous."

"The words you said to me the day before yesterday made me feel ashamed, but I want to thank you, Chenzi, for reminding me and teaching me how to take love seriously. Principles should never be shaken, and those that are shaken at will are not principles." "You should have a very beautiful love. As the first gift after you become an adult, love is indeed a very beautiful thing. It makes people yearn for, love life, and face everything with hope."

Having said this, Jiang Ning looked directly into Chen Yuan's eyes and no longer avoided them.

"I destroyed it myself."

"I, from the bottom of my heart, believe that I am excellent. I can do better than other girls you have met. I can rationally plan every step of our future, from meeting and knowing each other to entering the palace of marriage."

"That must be an enviable relationship experience...right? From first love to marriage."

"But what did I do? Last night I couldn't help but think that if you were dating any girl who I thought was not qualified, you might not have suffered such hurt and would not have been easily deceived. In the end, I did worse than others you might have met."

"If it was your childhood sweetheart, you would have had a very sweet time together, so what on earth do I think I am?"

Jiang Ning closed her eyes in pain and clenched her palms tightly.

"I always say that people must pursue something, but I must be ridiculous in your eyes."

A line of tears rolled down from the corner of her eyes.

Even Jiang Yao felt uncomfortable after hearing this. Her heart felt depressed and she seemed to feel pain with every breath she took.

"As an excellent boy, you should have a bright future, lived a happy college life, and gradually found your life goals, but I messed up your life."

"I messed up everything. If I hadn't been so stubborn and told you the truth... it wouldn't have turned out like this."

"Chenzi, do you know what I'm afraid of?"

she asked suddenly.

"What?" Chen Yuan looked at Jiang Ning.

"People say that a boy's first love is always his most unforgettable emotional experience. Often from this time on, they will gradually begin to establish a relationship perspective that is consistent with their own experience. I am very afraid... because of me, I will change your obsession."

"I will regret this for the rest of my life."

"Even if you really don't want to forgive me, I beg you not to give up on everything you want to pursue. You are still young... You will meet all kinds of people in the future, and there may be girls who are better than me."

"I always feel that people who hate this era and are unwilling to go with the flow will always live a harder and lonelier life. I always feel that they should not be treated this way, but I became one of the people who hurt them."

"I..." Jiang Ning said with a trembling voice: "I apologize to you, Chen Yuan."

……

The rain in Lanjing seemed to have become heavier.

The sky outside was getting darker now.

The living room was so quiet that only the sound of breathing could be heard.

"I forgive you." Chen Yuan said suddenly.

Hearing this, the two sisters raised their heads in disbelief.

(End of this chapter)