Chapter 269 Sincerity
We've only been dating for one day, but it feels like we've been dating for a long time.

On the way out, the evening breeze blew Li Zhuangsheng's bangs, and his mood fluctuated accordingly.

Suddenly, a figure walked out from the gate of the community and blocked the middle of the road.

Li Zhuangsheng quickly pressed the brake and took a closer look. The person turned out to be Hu Mengdie. He was stunned for a moment, not knowing what Hu Mengdie meant.

"Stop for a moment." said Hu Mengdie.

Haven’t I been stopped by you… Li Zhuangsheng thought to himself.

"Is there... anything?" Li Zhuangsheng said in a stiff tone.

"It's nothing, just treat us as friends and chat." Hu Mengdie said softly.

Li Zhuangsheng hesitated for a moment. Out of his instinct to seek benefits and avoid harm, he subconsciously did not want to face it. But this kind of thing cannot be avoided forever, it must be faced eventually.

When a problem arises, you should think about solving it immediately. Leaving it unresolved will only continue to hurt others.

"Okay." Li Zhuang gritted his teeth, took a deep breath, and pushed the car to the side of the road.

The night wind was gentle but bone-chillingly cold. The two stood under the street light, their shadows stretched out very long.

"When did you get together?"

"Just these two days."

"why?"

"…It was a strange mistake."

"Does Lin Yuehua know?"

"…It doesn't matter whether she knows it or not."

"Li Xiuyu is quite tolerant of her. He was not like that towards me back then." Hu Mengdie said "Hey" for no apparent reason.

"Is this what you call tolerance?" Li Zhuangsheng was a little surprised. "What did Li Xiuyu do to you?"

"It doesn't matter. It's over."

Hu Mengdie faced the wind with a melancholy look on her face, remaining silent for a long time. The cold wind made her face a little stiff.

"Do you love her?" she asked softly.

"I like her."

"Do you love her?"

"I really like her."

Hu Mengdie seemed to smile: "Were you kidnapped?"

Li Zhuangsheng denied it solemnly: "I volunteered."

"What do you like about her?" Hu Mengdie said.

Li Zhuangsheng remained silent, as if he was holding his breath, just like the days before his rebirth. He was stuck there, unable to speak. "Can't you say it?" Hu Mengdie asked again.

Li Zhuangsheng took a deep breath slowly, his eyes dim, "Actually, I really want to be a good person."

Hu Mengdie listened silently.

"Since I was young, I wanted to be a good kid who conforms to the social moral values. Do you still remember the Eight Honors and Eight Shames? I can still recite them now. I don't know why I have to cater to these things, but I just think these are the right things to do because they are written in the books."

"So, you grew up to be a kind person."

"Am I kind? I can't really explain it. If I were really that kind, I wouldn't have broken up with you."

Hu Mengdie was silent, and the street lights cast an indescribable gloom on her face.

"I feel that I am kind, but it's just a kind of self-righteousness. I am a half-baked person, or a kind of hypocrisy, which I do for myself. If one day I really have to bear the burden that I don't want to bear, I will choose to run away. So I ran away from you, I'm sorry."

"No need to say sorry... You are just too demanding of yourself. No one praises you unwarrantedly, and there is no need for you to criticize yourself too much."

"You just asked me if I loved her, and I didn't know how to answer you. I thought I knew what love was, so I said I loved you at the wedding. But now I don't understand it anymore, and it seems that no matter how I explain it, it's not right. I don't know... I don't dare to answer, I don't want to lie, and I don't even have the confidence to do so."

"Sorry, it's all because of me."

"It does have something to do with you, but the root cause is still in my own cognition." Li Zhuangsheng took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, repeating it three times in a row, as if he had finally made up his mind, "Do you know what I was thinking today?"

"Tell me, I want to know too."

"I feel it's unfair and I feel wronged."

"I remember you said that you felt I didn't love you as much as you loved me... and you didn't give me a chance to make amends and prove myself."

"That's not the case. I was wondering why you and Zhu Zhixue are different."

"You think..." Hu Mengdie seemed to want to smile, but her face, stiffened by the wind, was completely unconscious, and she could only utter a hollow sound, "Am I not as good as Zhu Zhixue in loving you?"

"Well, that's not quite accurate." Li Zhuangsheng shook his head, exhaled a breath of white air, and smiled. "You know, before you, I had never chased a girl, and I had never even talked to other girls much. I had no experience in dating girls at all. In terms of dating, I was actually quite inferior. I had zero attraction to the opposite sex. In the eyes of girls, I was probably just a passerby background board. On the street, only Li Xiuyu would be approached by girls."

"So, I really don't understand girls. I'm thin-skinned. I was so cautious when I was with you... I was thinking, she's Hu Mengdie, the school beauty, so popular with so many boys, how can you be so presumptuous in front of her?"

"You think too highly of me. Apart from my natural face, I am just an ordinary person. Just like you, I have ordinary joys, sorrows, anger and happiness..."

"I know this, but I understand the reason, but I still don't dare to be too intimate. I think, because I am a loser and you are a goddess, I am a weed and you are the bright moon, so it is normal for me to behave like this... But then I thought, it must be because you don't love me, so I instinctively feel insecure."

Li Zhuangsheng went on to say, "Today I confirmed this. It's true that I'm a loser, but I feel very comfortable when I'm dating Zhu Zhixue. Do you know why? Because I know she loves me, so I'm very confident."

"I know that no matter how corny the love words I say to her are, she will just be happy, and will not judge me and rate my emotional intelligence in her heart... She will not dislike my romance in her heart, think that I can't flirt, and pretend to be interested in catering to me... I believe that her feelings for me are consistent. She holds my hand because she likes me, and she kisses me because she likes me, not because she is concerned about the responsibilities and obligations of a 'girlfriend'..."

"I know you might want to say 'I didn't think that', but how can I know what's in your heart? I was the first one to confess my feelings to you, I was the first one to hold your hand, and I was the first one to kiss your face. I don't know what's in your heart, and I haven't gotten any proof from you..."

"This morning, Zhu Zhixue kissed me for more than half an hour. I have never kissed someone for such a long time. Oh, I am not saying this to provoke you. I just want to say that she took the initiative and didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to do this with you before because I was afraid you wouldn't like it. Of course, I am just giving this as an example."

"When Zhu Zhixue kissed me for the first time when we were out today, I was a little surprised. To be honest, I felt quite embarrassed. After all, there were so many people watching outside, and who knew she didn't care at all. Really, I was never so bold when I was with you. Later, you and Li Xiuyu arrived, and I saw you. I was a little afraid that you saw her kissing me... Then guess what I thought?"

(End of this chapter)